Paralyzed. 9-21-01  "An Eye for an Eye" Leaves the Whole World Blind -- Mahatma Gandhi

I've been paralyzed by the events of the past week. In times of trouble it has often been me who has brought solace to others. But last week the words wouldn't come. I have talked to a few of you via e-mail, but profound words and reassuring phrases never emerged. All I could feel was the numb ache of anger. It was an amorphous cloud of anger that I couldn't put my hands around. In part it was anger that I was powerless to help in any significant way. It was anger at the perpetrators and anger at Americans who don't know the difference between Afghanistan and Africa. It was anger at the absolutist wings of all ideologies, religious and secular. I really began to come around at a Home Owners Board meeting when I got into a shouting match with somebody who wanted to take the American Flag off the roof of our building. I understand how unspeakable acts have been committed in the name of the flag. But the flag last week was sopping up the tears of a sorrowful nation, and I couldn't handle an abstract argument over "I hate the American flag". I WENT OFF. But guess what? Letting it out pulled me out of the paralysis.

What do I intend to do? 1) I will definitely be in New York for a November get-together of my Photoworkshop comrades, even if it's only Robert Schafer and me sitting around a piano bar in mid-town. I intend to spend some money in Manhattan. 2) I intend to send my $300 tax rebate (which I don't need and didn't ask for) to a member who may have lost his firefighter brother in the tragedy. 3) I intend to spend time with family and friends discussing the world at large from an historical, political, and cultural standpoint. Americans are too inward looking. 4) I will fight the forces of absolutism when I can. Those that say they know the truth, don't. We've got absolutist Muslims blaming the tragedy on a CIA/Mossad conspiracy. We've got absolutist Christians saying it is the wrath of God because of pro-abortionists and homosexuals. I'm also skeptical of the standard boilerplate answers from the far right and the far left. I will not be politely silent when others espouse their simplistic dogmatic solutions to the problems we face. I will search for nuance. 5) I will become more involved again in the Photoworkshop. This workshop provides the sense of community that I need right now. Thanks to all.

The best writer of this tragedy has been Thomas Friedman of the New York Times op-ed. I've talked about him elsewhere. Highly recommended author.